Hi Clare. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. Indeed I think it’s a phenomenon that is not exclusive to Korea. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Jisoo. For starters, I read this when you first posted the draft and it was so fun to meet its current state. God at moments I felt like you are edging on creating a new subniche of sci-fi, except it’s all too real. Your image choices — impeccable. Ending: (perhaps because I’m KA) gave me the chills in its full circle-ness.
Loved and resonated with this paragraph: “Youth is not meant to last beyond a certain number of years. And only now, do I understand why. As I get older, I am more concerned with people’s characters than with their appearances. More impressed by how they lead their lives than by their possessions. With time, I have become less excited by images and desires.“
And this one gut-punched me: “Where does one fine meaning and aspiration in life? Because this world of ordering faces off of a menu is sucking the soul out of me.” I can feel your despair because a version of it is mine, too. Ahh!! 👏👏
Hi Kat, wow what a kind comment. Thank you so much for this encouragement. It is despair like you say. And I can't stop feeling like this is all so backwards. I also feel like I live in a sci-fi movie.... it's a very strange feeling.
"What gives meaning to my existence in this Instagram world, where conformity becomes the norm, where image predominates character, where everything is engineerable?"
-
You strip away meaning by choosing to step into that imaginary world.
You give yourself meaning. Stop taking it away from yourself, go back to the real world and start making it.
Love this quote especially on the “Instagram world, where conformity becomes the norm, where image predominates character, where everything is engineerable”. Plastic surgery (esp among the wealthy) is also getting more common in China and sometimes when I scroll the chinese equivalent of instagram everyone looks like an iteration of Fan Bing Bing and when I scroll instagram everyone looks like an iteration of Kim Kardashian. And the botoxed women look the same when you pass them on the street. And where’s the beauty in that? I sometimes do wonder. Thanks for sharing Jisoo!
Do you think this aspect of Korean society has played a role in the country's demographic disaster? Korea does not appear to suffer from the emasculating nature of the post-modern West, and it does not have prisons full of citizens, so I wonder what has stopped Koreans from reproducing. I love South Korea. If there is a "superior race" on earth, it is Koreans. It pains me that their population will decline.
I know the whole plastic surgery thing can be distasteful, but compared with American drug abuse or violence, I would take Korean plastic surgery any day. Every country has its vice.
I don't think that the demographic decline is a single factor phenomenon. A One-child policy was implemented in South Korea back in the 60s and 70s. Perhaps that never ceased to yield results, especially when combined with high costs of living, high costs of housing, high competition inside the country etc...
Korea directly imports the Western culture. But it is my impression that K-pop stars made male makeup (not skincare but makeup) popular before Hollywood did.
The tight surveillance measures perhaps makes it more difficult for people to commit big crimes. But in turn, the level of surveillance has other consequences.
I am sorry to bug you again. I re-read this (your writing is so good), and I wonder if delayed marriage is (or was) a powerful force to promoter anti-aging. When people get married honestly (a rare thing in the US where divorce has ravaged the soul of the country), they are less concerned about appearance because they acquired a mate. Now they can focus on career, family and other life goals without worrying about attracting anyone else.
Delaying marriage throws that natural progression off course. Similarly, widespread divorce in the US creates all kinds of terrible pressures because people cannot count on their partner sticking around (why shouldn't I flirt with that other person? Why can't I enjoy this pretty alternative for an evening?). Delayed marriage is obviously better than unreliable marriage, but both are far from ideal.
Instead of raising children, today we waste time and money on appearance, pets, hobbies,.... Anyone who has been responsible for a toddler knows that they are turbocharged, suicidal excrement machines. If we all had a few of those at home, we would not have the time nor the money to waste on plastic surgery.
Does that make sense, or am I completely off base? Humanity is running a huge experiment in childless living. I suspect that there are all kinds of problems resulting from that, but we cannot recognize them yet. As an example, it is much harder to stay depressed with small children around. They can make you angry, they can make you happy, but they never make you sad.
Plastic surgery came before anti aging. Society in general had very negative perspective on plastic surgery even 20 years ago, but it became popular when celebrities openly talked about their own procedures on TV, and society witnessed how much money could be made (or how rich husbands could be caught) with better looks. Korea is all about appearance. Then anti-aging naturally became popular because it is less invasive than plastic surgery. I have many mom friends who are obsessed with looking young. I once asked one of them if she couldn’t just live as she were. She laughed out of stupor and said “why on earth would I do that?” Anti-aging is called “personal care”, “personal upkeep”, and many think that not practicing personal care is a form of laziness, lack of respect for oneself and others. People who get all sorts of procedure are described as “diligent” here. A wrinkled up prune in a basket of fresh blueberries is a societal anomaly.
People raise children like it’s their jobs. The amount of private classes and hagwons that moms put their children through is abusive to my eyes. Children in Korea don’t play. They study. Many don’t have children because it’s too hard to raise children. The pressure to do well in school, to get accepted in top universities is unseen in the West. I often ask my friends why they don’t have a second child. Their answer is the same every time: “you’re asking me if I’m willing to do all of this again. I’m not willing, it’s too hard.” It’s helicopter parenting and competition amongst kids on another level. Creating a very unhealthy society overall. Having more than one child is too hard and too expensive.
I do not see a relationship between anti-aging and problems of demographics.
Hi Clare. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. Indeed I think it’s a phenomenon that is not exclusive to Korea. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Jisoo. For starters, I read this when you first posted the draft and it was so fun to meet its current state. God at moments I felt like you are edging on creating a new subniche of sci-fi, except it’s all too real. Your image choices — impeccable. Ending: (perhaps because I’m KA) gave me the chills in its full circle-ness.
Loved and resonated with this paragraph: “Youth is not meant to last beyond a certain number of years. And only now, do I understand why. As I get older, I am more concerned with people’s characters than with their appearances. More impressed by how they lead their lives than by their possessions. With time, I have become less excited by images and desires.“
And this one gut-punched me: “Where does one fine meaning and aspiration in life? Because this world of ordering faces off of a menu is sucking the soul out of me.” I can feel your despair because a version of it is mine, too. Ahh!! 👏👏
Hi Kat, wow what a kind comment. Thank you so much for this encouragement. It is despair like you say. And I can't stop feeling like this is all so backwards. I also feel like I live in a sci-fi movie.... it's a very strange feeling.
"Age builds up." Book me in for 2 helpings of Titanium with a side order of V-line please. I guess Korea just got added to my list!
But really, what a great read.
Haha leave room for dessert? Thank you Karena!
Great piece! Congratulations Jisoo!
Thank you Hugo! Your comments were so helpful!
Jisoo, so happy I found your substack! This is such an insightful reflection on age and beauty. Excited to read more!
How kind of you Santiago. Thank you so much :)
Powerful words, Jisoo. Almost as strong as your resolve to push against this visceral tide. Thanks for sharing so candidly
How kind of you. Thank you for your comment Phil.
"Age builds up."
May we all be so fortunate to experience this. Thanks for teaching me so much in one essay.
Like a fine wine :) Thank you so much for your kind comment Matt.
"What gives meaning to my existence in this Instagram world, where conformity becomes the norm, where image predominates character, where everything is engineerable?"
-
You strip away meaning by choosing to step into that imaginary world.
You give yourself meaning. Stop taking it away from yourself, go back to the real world and start making it.
I also feel strongly about this!
Love this quote especially on the “Instagram world, where conformity becomes the norm, where image predominates character, where everything is engineerable”. Plastic surgery (esp among the wealthy) is also getting more common in China and sometimes when I scroll the chinese equivalent of instagram everyone looks like an iteration of Fan Bing Bing and when I scroll instagram everyone looks like an iteration of Kim Kardashian. And the botoxed women look the same when you pass them on the street. And where’s the beauty in that? I sometimes do wonder. Thanks for sharing Jisoo!
Do you think this aspect of Korean society has played a role in the country's demographic disaster? Korea does not appear to suffer from the emasculating nature of the post-modern West, and it does not have prisons full of citizens, so I wonder what has stopped Koreans from reproducing. I love South Korea. If there is a "superior race" on earth, it is Koreans. It pains me that their population will decline.
I know the whole plastic surgery thing can be distasteful, but compared with American drug abuse or violence, I would take Korean plastic surgery any day. Every country has its vice.
I don't think that the demographic decline is a single factor phenomenon. A One-child policy was implemented in South Korea back in the 60s and 70s. Perhaps that never ceased to yield results, especially when combined with high costs of living, high costs of housing, high competition inside the country etc...
Korea directly imports the Western culture. But it is my impression that K-pop stars made male makeup (not skincare but makeup) popular before Hollywood did.
The tight surveillance measures perhaps makes it more difficult for people to commit big crimes. But in turn, the level of surveillance has other consequences.
I am sorry to bug you again. I re-read this (your writing is so good), and I wonder if delayed marriage is (or was) a powerful force to promoter anti-aging. When people get married honestly (a rare thing in the US where divorce has ravaged the soul of the country), they are less concerned about appearance because they acquired a mate. Now they can focus on career, family and other life goals without worrying about attracting anyone else.
Delaying marriage throws that natural progression off course. Similarly, widespread divorce in the US creates all kinds of terrible pressures because people cannot count on their partner sticking around (why shouldn't I flirt with that other person? Why can't I enjoy this pretty alternative for an evening?). Delayed marriage is obviously better than unreliable marriage, but both are far from ideal.
Instead of raising children, today we waste time and money on appearance, pets, hobbies,.... Anyone who has been responsible for a toddler knows that they are turbocharged, suicidal excrement machines. If we all had a few of those at home, we would not have the time nor the money to waste on plastic surgery.
Does that make sense, or am I completely off base? Humanity is running a huge experiment in childless living. I suspect that there are all kinds of problems resulting from that, but we cannot recognize them yet. As an example, it is much harder to stay depressed with small children around. They can make you angry, they can make you happy, but they never make you sad.
Plastic surgery came before anti aging. Society in general had very negative perspective on plastic surgery even 20 years ago, but it became popular when celebrities openly talked about their own procedures on TV, and society witnessed how much money could be made (or how rich husbands could be caught) with better looks. Korea is all about appearance. Then anti-aging naturally became popular because it is less invasive than plastic surgery. I have many mom friends who are obsessed with looking young. I once asked one of them if she couldn’t just live as she were. She laughed out of stupor and said “why on earth would I do that?” Anti-aging is called “personal care”, “personal upkeep”, and many think that not practicing personal care is a form of laziness, lack of respect for oneself and others. People who get all sorts of procedure are described as “diligent” here. A wrinkled up prune in a basket of fresh blueberries is a societal anomaly.
People raise children like it’s their jobs. The amount of private classes and hagwons that moms put their children through is abusive to my eyes. Children in Korea don’t play. They study. Many don’t have children because it’s too hard to raise children. The pressure to do well in school, to get accepted in top universities is unseen in the West. I often ask my friends why they don’t have a second child. Their answer is the same every time: “you’re asking me if I’m willing to do all of this again. I’m not willing, it’s too hard.” It’s helicopter parenting and competition amongst kids on another level. Creating a very unhealthy society overall. Having more than one child is too hard and too expensive.
I do not see a relationship between anti-aging and problems of demographics.